Fizzle....

Man, RIGHT AFTER I post an entry about how dang great everything is, I'm hit the NEXT DAY with a headache and stomach cramps. I don't feel really well. It's probably stress over money and the apartment - which isn't completely put together yet. The bitch part is my studio - it's still in pieces and not functional yet. Oooohhh how I need to draw - but I'm still hitting a wall. I continue to think of projects that I want to do during the course of the day, but when the sketchbook lands in my lap......nothing. A dry fart. Bah, I say! BAH!

I'm thinking of re-visiting an old project that David and I kicked around for years. I was sifting through old artwork from it while watching The Incredible Hulk (excellent movie), and the urge is strong to finish what we started. But this time I'll be flying solo. David and I could collaborate on many things, but for some reason this particular project was always a tough one. We'd clash on ideas, disagree, hit walls, what little bit he wrote was too long-winded and convoluted....I guess maybe because it was a little too close to our hearts. It was the first project we ever worked on together; I find that it might be the perfect piece of closure (and a memorial, of sorts, to our marriage) that I need in continuing the cleansing of the slate. And the foundation is all there - it just needs to be pieced together. At least I'm confident that I am finally at the stage art-wise that it can be done the way I want it to be done. I hope I'm not jinxing myself writing about it, but.....well, I've always trusted my gut, and this feels right for some reason.

Geez I'm so down tonight, and antsy, anxious. Champ is playing World of Warcraft, which I can't bring myself to play these days. Maybe because it reminds me of David. My wireless internet is kind of retarded anyway - I keep getting bumped off of my own goddamn network.
Tomorrow is my psych appointment, and then my one little piddly class of the summer. In the distance someone is firing off fireworks, WELL before the 4th of course. I need to pay bills. I need to sleep. I need more Vodka.

*sigh*