No Subject Really...I'm just here....

t's a lazy, sultry day up here in Atlanta. My complexion has been terrible the past few days - I think it's the impurities or smog in the air. I woke up a little crusty a couple of hours ago - Champ and I played World of Warcraft well into the morning. I like how much we have in common - we have pretty similar tastes in music, love the WoW, and we're both ridiculously creative and passionate people. I find myself thinking about him more and more since I've been on vacation - the hardest thing is trying to keep my head on straight. "You KNOW what you tend to do, Julie - fall too hard and too fast. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, YOU HOPELESSLY IDEALISTIC AND ROMANTIC FISH-GIRL! It's that glow- that damn deceptive, puppy-love glow that's so fucking wonderful in the beginning but sours over time. Like white Easter lillies. They look big and gorgeous until they start to smell like a rotting carcass and crumple (not that I know first hand what they smell like - I can't smell - but I do notice when the number of flies triples when lillies are in my home). I think a lot of it is the excitement of getting to know another person, both physically and mentally, as well as seeing how I do myself - I am not the same girl who married David 5 years ago. I've had to grow up tremendously fast during my twenties, losing my parents' support (they haven't spoken to me in over 5 years), getting married, buying a house, raising 3 dogs, getting a job as an art professor, divorcing, moving out, getting my own place, and here I am. The past 7 to 8 years have been a hurricane, and I'm exhausted. But I'm stronger because of it, thank god. I'm still here, still kickin' - they haven't licked me yet.
But I have to be careful. It's so easyto make the same mistakes over and over again. As much as I'd love to dive head first into the ocean, I really need to feel the sand between my toes, feel the water rushing under my feet, and.......geebs, what's with the cheesy metaphor? *Ha!* Whatever - it fits.
I want to draw - NEED to draw. But I open my sketchbook and just stare at the blank page. Nothing comes. I'm hoping that when we go to the beach this weekend, there will be plenty of people watching opportunity. Nothing is better drawing reference than half-naked, fat ass Americans on vacation *giggle*
Gawd I'm so distracted - damn undead rogues..................................

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